Focus on yourself

Be kind and focus on yourself.

If your significant, other or spouse is trying to isolate you from your friends and family, reach out when it's safe to do so while they're at work or away from the house by calling. or contacting someone you can trust to confidentially discuss your concerns and fears.

When this was happening to me with my narcissist  at first I held back and told no one. The secrecy of abuse created an endless cycle of depression, increased fear, insomnia and a spiraling sense of helplessness. 

All of this was building up day after day until I could no longer hold the secret of what was happening to me. It started out with a text to my close friend and then a call to my brother. It was like the flood gates opened and all of the secrets that I had kept to myself were overflowing in abundance. After telling several people, what was happening in my new relationship of someone I had trusted and who had betrayed me significantly, i felt some sense of dignity returning.

This man was so manipulative and charmIng during the first phase of our relationship that he had convinced me to marry him after the intense love bombing sessions telling me that he would take care of me and I was his soul mate.

He intensified his adornment of me so much that eventually I fell into his spell of lies and deceit, believing every word that he spoke.. He set the trap and I was drawn to him. Unbeknowns to me at the time, I was in for a long-drawn-out painful lesson on these types of human blood suckers. The day that I married him, everything changed. He became cold, distant completely disinterested in having any type of meaningful conversations with me. Month after month our relationship began to crumble  as I saw a completely different personality emerge. I began to suspect infidelity but then I found all the proof I needed and confronted him. At first he denied everything but eventually admitted it. I asked him why he was doing this to me but he had no reason. Promises were made to stop the behavior but he never kept them.

His lying cheating ways continued. This was affecting my mental, physical and spiritual health. I was so caught up in all of his lies and deception that I began to try harder in order to make him love me again like in the beginning of the relationship.In the process I lost my self esteem and began to feel worthless. No matter what effort I put out, nothing was recognized. He tore away at my dignity and stripped me of my belief that every human being has a goodness in him or her deep down inside if you just believe.

I found he had nothing left to give me except pain and misery. Any emotional outburst that I had just fed his ego and gave him the fuel that he needed to continue the abuse. It was an endless pit of despair.  Nothing I did was good enough. He was in the process of devaluing me. Every so often he might give me a tidbit or bread crumb of kindness which would give me more hope that he was changing for the better. But that would never be.He was just playing with me , intensifying the abuse feeding his sick ego, while I began to crumble and question my self worth, he became more entitled.

This emotional tug and pull is a very difficult situation for the victim. Eventually, I had only one thing left I could do and that was to pray.That was my sanctuary of hope that brought me into a safe secure place. I knew God loved me for who I was. He wouldn't turn his back on me or lie and deceive. My father in heaven was my rock and my foundation in this hopeless situation that I found myself in. I cried to my Lord in distress and he heard me. I asked for his guidance to help me create a plan of escape from this man that had completely misled and deceived me.

After being exposed month after month to this type of psychological abuse, I began to realize this man that I had trusted was influenced by satan himself and that I needed spiritual protection that only our lord could offer.

My new husband began to threaten me with bodily harm.

He told me several times that he could put my body in the garbage can, put the lid on it. and nobody would find me.

Eventually I did form a plan of escape with the help of God and the support of my friends and family. 

All of this took a toll on my psychological and physical health. Stress is the number one killer of your well being.

It is a long painful journey that no one should have to endure.

 i am now working to restore my health physically and mentally. I am mourning the loss of a relationship that was a complete scam. I fell in love with somebody that was a persona that never existed because he never really revealed his real self until I married him.

I tried so hard to hold on to my marriage with this man who was abusing me that in the process I almost lost myself.

This is why it's important to show self love and think about being kind to yourself. Don't depend on someone who doesn't treat you well to give you what you deserve which is respect, honor and dignity.

I went from being a confident happy woman to a pathetic, helpless human sacrifice from his abusive controlling manipulative deceit.

All the while it kept feeding his sick twisted ego. He was gaining pleasure out of hurting me. This is cruel and hateful for a partner to treat his spouse or partner with such cruelty. 

If you are being mistreated in any way please seek help from a trusted friend or family member. Do not wait until it's too late. Go to a safe place if you can and if you need to call for help.Don't hesitate to call the police if there's any indication that you're going to get hurt. Take care of yourself. Remember you are a child of God and you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. 

Please click on the link below. When we are abused by Doctor Charles Stanley